Sign Me Up by The Sports Network

College students are broke by definition. They certainly don’t drink the cheapest beer because they prefer it, and beef flavored ramen noodles taste nothing like filet mignon.

Now ask these plate-scrubbing, hamburger-delivering students if they’d trade their current gig for one paying thousands of dollars in cash…no stripping required. All they’d have to do is write their name a bunch of times on mini footballs and jerseys from the comfort of their own dorm rooms. Restaurants would be understaffed overnight. We’d have enough abandoned aprons to plug up the ozone layer.

Cue the Terrelle Pryor tie-in.

In a move that should have surprised absolutely no one, Pryor announced Tuesday that he has decided not to return to Ohio State for his senior season. The news came shortly after a former friend of the standout quarterback dished some dirt on national television. According to the anonymous source, the star athlete received anywhere between $20,000 to $40,000 in cash from Columbus businessman/photographer Dennis Talbott for autographing memorabilia on several occasions.

Pryor clearly went back on his word, as he vowed to return to Ohio State despite being suspended for the first five games of the 2011 campaign. That sanction was the result of the Pennsylvania native accepting money and tattoos in exchange for Buckeye memorabilia, a controversy that involved several players and marked the beginning of the end of Jim Tressel’s reign as OSU’s head coach.

By many accounts, Pryor was cocky and arrogant the day he arrived in Columbus and remained as such throughout three up-and-down years. Last week after Tressel announced his (forced) resignation, the 21-year-old drove on a suspended license to a team meeting, knowing full well that the media would be present. That’s either stupidity or arrogance, and neither of the two is favorable.

If you’d enjoy reading more about the missteps of a seemingly CFL-bound signal caller, this isn’t the column for you, although you’ll have no trouble getting your fix in multiple media outlets. I’d rather focus on a flawed system, a begrudging foe and the countless holier-than-thou do-gooders that are whining like petulant children.

Football players such as Pryor are given a free education in exchange for their contributions on the field. That is, in the opinion of many, including myself, a fair deal. However, scholarship athletes are prohibited from seeking employment, as the NCAA has deemed it unreasonable to expect such students to carry the weight of a full class load, rigorous athletic requirements and job demands simultaneously.

In other words, even if someone in Pryor’s position wanted to wash dishes for seven bucks an hour, he isn’t permitted to do so. Therefore, it is completely conceivable that the same athlete helping his university earn millions on Saturday doesn’t have money to go to the movies on Sunday.

This isn’t a pity party for scholarship athletes. They are all physically gifted and get plenty of admiration. But if the NCAA doesn’t want to provide a small stipend for spending dough, they’re just asking for further problems.

Here’s an idea. Since scholarship athletes obviously aren’t taking student loans to cover the cost of tuition, why not allow these individuals to borrow a limited amount of money for personal use. The NCAA could loan the money free of interest, skirting the dreaded pay-for-play scenario while still solving a festering dilemma.

Even if the NCAA changes the current system, and there is no concrete reason to believe that it will, there will still be players like Pryor who cannot resist the urge to make some serious cash in exchange for a few signatures, and out of jealousy or a questionable sense of honor, there will always be a fellow student ready and willing to dime out the campus superstar.

Speaking specifically of Pryor’s former friend that brought the dealings with Talbott to light, he certainly seems like a jealous enemy masquerading as a role model. Why didn’t you speak up the first time you saw money change hands? Also, were you ever the beneficiary of Pryor’s windfall of cash. If he so much as shared a bag of potato chips with you that he bought with the “dirty” money, you are both complicit and hypocritical.

Which brings us to the holier-than-thou crowd that gets some sort of thrill out of condemning a young guy for working just about the cushiest under-the- table gig known to man. Middle-aged Ohio State fans in ugly sweaters are outraged that Pryor could put the proud program’s future in jeopardy by John Hancocking some Buckeye gear for a coupe of crooks looking to turn a profit.

Really? Think back to when you were in college. You probably would have signed your name on the devil’s bare chest with a Sharpie for 20 dollars and a can of Coke. But you didn’t go 31-4 as a starter or quarterback your squad to three wins over hated rival Michigan, so your autograph isn’t exactly coveted. In fact, the only people who value your signature are the bill collectors who, on the back of the windowed envelopes enclosed for your convenience, remind you to sign your checks.

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